Bill Simmons of ESPN recently wrote a column about the different levels of losing in sports. It is an intricately detailed sonnet about futility. He gives personal anectdotes of how each different kind of loss affected him. It is amusing, it is tragic, and after pondering my life as a Jets fan, it is woefully incomplete.
Level F for Futility - When you know before the season ever starts that your team has absolutely zero chance of doing anything worth cheering for because they can't stop the run, can't run the ball, and their QB is so incompetent every fan KNOWS that at a crucial moment he will kill your team's chances with a life sucking interception.
Example: The 2007 New York Jets.
I spent a lot of time on the phone with Annoyed today. We are both Jets and Yankee fans which if is kind of an anomaly if you are from the NYC area. Most Giants fans are Yankee fans and the Jets and the Mets fans seem to match up despite the oddly annoying rhyme scheme that creates. (For an odd twist the Nets are moving right into the hotbed of Jets, Mets fandom in Brooklyn with the hopes of creating an annoying fandom rhyme scheme trifecta.)
After the Jets flukishly jumped out to a small lead Annoyed and I sat on the phone with each other shamelessly predicting when the downfall would occur. Chad Pennington obliged as he always does. One interception demonstrated Pennington's incompetence to such a glaring degree that Randy Cross, who was announcing the game, called it, "truly terrible." When the Jets got the ball back for a final chance to tie the game, Chad predictably threw a soul sucking interception.
To be fair, this particular incarnation of Jets incompetence was not limited to the offensive side of the ball. The defense was equally offensive. The defense's inability to stop the run or tackle was just as incompetent as the offense's inability to run the ball or convert a crucial 3rd down play.
In other news the Dolphins lost again and currently leading the charge for the #1 overall pick in the 2008 draft.
The Patriots may go undefeated.
Joe Torre staved off firing for a day because the Yankees managed to win a game against Cleveland.
No 1 of Consequence