My little guy being adorable

The Georgia education system is atrocious

I am going to write about No Wife a bit today because my anger has reached a point that I may have a stroke if I don't get this out into the world.

My wife is a social studies teacher. She is a summa cum laude graduate of one of the finest universities for educators in the northeast. She has won very presitigious teaching awards from the State of New Jersey as well as been nominated for the Teacher of the Year Award sponsored by a very prominent corporation. Her lessons are engaging and collaborative. She has significant experience at top rated schools in a state that consistently ranks among the highest in public education. Yet here in Cobb County, Georgia, in two school years of looking she has been unable to secure employment. This is ludicrous.

In a state like Georgia which is supposedly dying for teachers. she is consistently passed over, not only for jobs, but also for interviews. In a state like Georgia, which has an appallingly ranked educational system, how can any principal justify passing her incredibly impressive resume by? In a state like Georgia which is populated by military families and numerous bases, how is it that a veteran of the United States Army with impeccable credentials and an amazing ability to reach even the toughest students doesn't get asked to serve her community?

Our phone should be ringing off the hook. She should not be sitting at a computer shaking her head as one perfect position after another comes and goes with nary a phone call. The middle and high schools in Cobb County Georgia are robbing their students of opportunity on a daily basis because of what appears to be an "old boy" hiring policy. (I have no evidence of this, but nothing else makes sense when you measure No Wife's credentials against the positions available.)

No Wife is a rock star at the front of a classroom. Who is going to step up and give their students a real chance to not only learn something, but love the process of learning it?

No 1 of Consequence

41 years

My parents have been married for 41 years. In years 40 and 41 their jackass of a son (that would be me) has been too wrapped up in the insanity of his own life to remember their anniversary. So, to honor their commitment, I am mentioning the anniversary on my blog.

41 years is a LONG time. 14,965 days. 359,160 hours. 21,549,600 minutes. 1,292,976,000 seconds.

Their marriage, like any marriage, has had its ups and down, but despite any troubles they have remained steadfast.

41 years is a testament to love and commitment. It is also a testament to endurance. In an age where marriage and divorce happen on demand and vows are taken with a very large grain of salt. It is nice to slow down for a moment and look to a marriage that has stood the test of time.

I'm very proud of my parents for being able to achieve such a milestone. I look forward to actually remembering to honor their love and commitment to each other next year.

Mazel Tov guys! I love you.

No 1 of Consequence

Pragmatic Environmentalism: Part II

I just saw this great article on CNN and was very pleased to see that my family already does a lot of the things on this list. I will be putting out a battery recycling bucket this weekend because as anyone with children knows, the kiddies go through batteries like water. Here is another phenomenal way to save money on batteries.

****UPDATE - Reason #468 why it is important to have readers smarter than you. The battery thing was bogus.

No 1 of Consequence

You know you've been a parent a long time when...

Your baby pukes in the night and you have his clothes changed and him back to sleep in less than three minutes.

*In the interest of full disclosure this was minor pukage and not full on projectile vomiting over sheets and blankets. Had that taken place the pit stop would have taken 6-8 minutes depending on whether there was mattress involvement. Damned post nasal drip and the latest revelations that decongestants and babies don't mix.

***UPDATE: Second puking episode, this time requiring a tub dunk executed to perfection by mommy, jammie change, sheet changes and some snuggling. I was back in front of the computer in 12 minutes after putting in a stinky load of laundry. BOO YA!

***** UPDATE 2: 4 puking episodes, multiple jammie and bedding changes, and although it was relatively short during each one I didn't end up getting to bed until 2:30. I am retracting my earlier BOO YA!

No 1 of Consequence

RAGE

It is a wonder my faithful few, that I have not snapped living here in red state hell. Atlanta is a multi cultural and diverse city. I don't exactly live in the city of Atlanta. I live just a bit outside in perhaps the whitest community in America. Lily white. Snow white. Even the black people are whiter than me. I am sick of living here. Almost everything that happens in this community irritates me.

Today my 13 year old son brings home a paper that states that abstinence only curriculum approved by local ministers is taught in his PUBLIC school. What's worse is that the program is funded by a FEDERAL abstinence only grant.

I am holding a piece of paper urging me to allow my son to participate in a program that has no hope of success. Not only does the program preach abstinence through adolescence but abstinence until marriage. Good luck!!

There are numerous studies which state that teaching abstinence is not only ineffective, but also irresponsible. Teaching abstinence without teaching proper contraception technique is reckless. Do you know why? Kids are going to have sex. They are going to have sex. THEY ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX!!!!

Why are ministers involved in the teaching curriculum? I am pretty sure that is a clear violation of The Constitution. Why is the federal government giving out absitnence grants. The GAO, the governments own oversight organization said that teaching abstinence without fully teaching contraception techniques (among other things) is a violation of federal law. After the GAO made this recommendation HHS (Health and Human Services Admin) changed the Federal Abstinence Grant guidelines to specifically preclude the teaching of contraception techniques. It is wonderful to see the Bush administration isn't just interested in breaking laws involving illegal search and seizure. They are violating the Constitutional rights of children and endangering their lives at the same time. Rock on.

No 1 of Consequence

The trials and tribulations of being a busy blogger

There is no excuse really, but work is once again all I am thinking about. Well, that and how many rounds of Resistance I will get to play on any given night. Well that, Resistance, and the ever blooming entrepreneurial ideas that are gnawing at me.

I want to write about the country. It makes me sad and I want to share that with you. I want to write about the kids. They make me happy and I want to share that too. I want to write about the Jets. They make me suicidal and I am sure that will make you laugh. I want to write about what I am thinking. Some people have found that interesting from time to time. I want to do all of these things. However, I don't have enough time to really explore my thoughts.

What do you think of the new template?

No 1 of Consequence

So long Scooter

In case you haven't been paying attention or don't really care, baseball lost a great envoy this week. Phil Rizzuto wasn't just a great shortstop and great New York Yankee, he was greatly responsible for me loving baseball.

I was born in 1971 and some of the earliest memories I have of my father revolve around him coming into my bedroom to say goodnight and tuning in the Yankees games for me on a transistor radio. I listened to the exploits of Willie Randolph, Graig Nettles, Ron Guidry, Thurman Munson et al through Scooter's descriptions and stories. My love for the Yankees was born in those moments and refined over years and years. Listening to Phil shout "Holy Cow" into the microphone punctuated some of the greatest sports moments of the 1970's and my childhood.

Like many people who lived in Essex County, NJ I have my own Phil Rizzuto story, and it isn't just about the time I ran into him at the Millburn Diner with his wife Cora. In his later years Scooter was big on strolling around the local malls. He had a secretary that drove him around the area and he would shop and chat with people during the day. I used to get my hair cut at the Livingston Mall and as I was popping in for a trim he was walking out of the mall.

"Mr. Rizzuto," I said, reaching out to shake his hand, "I just wanted to tell you what a big fan I am and thank you."

I spent a few moments relating how my dad used to turn the games on and how my love of the Yankees was born listening to his voice.

He smiled and said, "Holy Cow! What a memory you've got!"

I laughed and beamed as he went on about his business. I know he threw his catch phrase around pretty liberally, but that one was just for me.

Rest in peace.

The Princess Bride

Last week for the first time my two older sons watched The Princess Bride. My oldest (13) thought it was ok, but my middle son (7) was completely enamored. For the last week he has been bouncing around fake fencing and quoting the movie. Saying things like, "I know something you don't know... What's that?... I am not left handed," and "Who are you?... No 1 of Consequence... I must know...Get used to diappointment." He puts on a little Spanish accent when imitating Inigo Montoya and it is about the cutest thing ever. I don't write about the kids a ton, but since he fell in love with the movie that inspired the name for this particular blog, I thought I would share it with you.

Inigo Montoya: Who are you?

Westley: No one of consequence.

Inigo Montoya: I must know...

Westley: Get used to disappointment.

Inigo Montoya: 'kay

No 1 of Consequence

Fishy fishy in the sea.

On my way to the Atlanta Zoo today I rode behind a Saturn Vue. This particular car, like many cars in GA, had a Jesus fish stuck to the back of it. Something was written in this particular fish and my naturally inquisitive nature tried to decipher it. Finally, I thought I had figured it out and read something so baffling that I laughed out loud.

"What?" asked No Wife of Consequence.

"I could swear the Jesus fish on that SUV says gefilte in it," I said with as much shock as I could muster.

"You're an idiot, it doesn't say gefilte," she said, "It probably says "gives life" or something like that."

I was forced to agree it was unlikely it said gefilte. As we pulled into the zoo parking lot, the Saturn was a couple of cars ahead. My wife was forced to pull very close to them as we entered the parking lot.

"Yeah, that's a Jesus fish that says gefilte in it," she said.

We parked very close to family that had the gefilte Jesus fish on the back of their car and I went right up and asked them where they procured this delightful little novelty. The husband told me he found it somewhere on the net.

Guess who's ordering a gefilte fish for his car? You bet your tuchus I am!

By the way, Pandas are super cute. I mean ridiculously cute. You almost can't determine a cuteness level they are so cute. If you don't believe me, click the Atlanta Zoo link above and load up the panda cam.

No 1 of Consequence

Resistance: Fall of Man

I got a Playstation 3. Annoyed got a Playstation 3 first. No Brother got a Playstation 3 last. The Playstation 3 has WiFi. If you log on to Playstation 3 with No Brother and Annoyed and play Resistance: Fall of Man it is more fun than any 3 grown men should be allowed to have. The best part of all of this is when my oldest son is playing Resistance and trash talking No Brother and Annoyed. High comedy. High comedy indeed.


No 1 of Consequence

Live from the United Kingdom, China's got problems

In the business I am in, I often hear people in the US raging against China. They worry that China is stealing their jobs, their money and their future. They worry about the power of the Chinese economy and how much of our foreign debt the Chinese government holds. I hear the voices of fear and in many ways those fears are founded. However China's internal struggles are enormous, and could be potentially crippling. From the oddities of having a massive migrant population to the atrocities that people seeking freedom have to endure China is poised for major change in the next quarter century and all the changes it will see won't be positive ones.

Read this article about the Great Firewall of China and you will get an understanding that the information revolution in China could be the first tumbling stone in the avalanche of actual revolution and I don't mean the perpetual revolution Mao Tze Tung was talking about when he wrote the Little Red Book.

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As a general side note, TV in the UK absolutely sucks. Thanksfully I brought the first two seasons of Rescue Me on DVD with me. I watched a few episodes last night and they were as enjoyable as my brother and the annoyed guy promised.

No 1 of Consequence

Civility

I just read this article by Joe Klein. It interestingly details how he was slightly misled by a politician only to be completely lambasted by left wing bloggers. The politician called to tell him the misleading statement was unintentional and apologized. He printed the apology and got crushed again by the writers carrying the banners of the left.

I am absolutely a left leaning guy. Some would say I lean so far left I am actually laying down. They might be right. :-) My point in this little foray back into the political is that the inability to argue points with civility is what prevents progress. If someone is hateful, spiteful and vindictive is drags down their entire cause.

I fall into it sometimes, as do most people. I freely admit that the mention of Ann Coulter causes me to lose all ability to reason. Overall though, I try and keep an open mind.

Raising the level of debate in this nation is important. We have to ask more of ourselves and our countrymen. We have to focus our eyes on what is important and definitely learn to separate the things that aren't from the national stage. Publicly eviscerating people for making minor errors doesn't help anything or anyone.

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Some notes from the UK

- TV here sucks. It just out and out blows. I was stuck watching reruns of Bones last night and felt like it was almost a good show because I was that bored.

- I don't sleep well here. It is hard to be super productive when I am dog tired a lot of the time.

- My brother calls my international cell phone to talk about fantasy baseball. I love that.

- I found out that significant time in Geneva is going to be in my future. I am note sure how I feel about this. Of course it means I will probably hit platinum medallion status on Delta.

- I really like the guys I am working with here. This consulting bunch is fantastic. They are a LOT of fun to work with and while I don't enjoy being away from my family that much, it could be a whole lot worse than it is.

- The UK is so damned expensive I can't even begin to tell you. The US needs to get the dollar back under control and they need to do it very badly.

- I found yesterday I have a new boss... sort of, maybe two new bosses, it still hasn't fleshed out and I am not really thrilled about it.

- There is a 99% chance that I am going to start doing podcasts. I just need to figure out if I can record using my Skype headset and Polycom Communicator.

No 1 of Consequence

Where the heck have I been?

Good question. I have been working like a dog. I was actually in the United Kingdom for a week in the middle of my absence for work. Traveling on business has a lot of bad points and only a couple of good ones.

Bad points to business travel:

Long airline flights
Being away from the family
Not sleeping in my own bed
Working twice as many hours as normal (this is time zone related and kind of unique to European travel, because half of the US day or more remains when I get back to my hotel)

Having conversations like this over skype:

Me: Tell the baby I love him
Her, to the baby: Daddy loves you
Her, to me: He said, "Who's daddy?"
Me: Ouch

It was said in jest, but the fact remains that traveling is as hard or harder on my wife and kids than it is on me. As I said there are some good points to business travel for me and NONE for my family.

The good points to business travel:

Per Diem expense policy: If you are on a per diem expense policy and you are willing to sacrifice on accomodations or dining you can make a lot of extra cash. On my UK trip I got a hotel that was approximately 100 dcollars less than my per diem allotment and I brought enough food that I was able to eat about 75% of my meals without spending money. I profited close to $1200 on the trip and that money is basically paying for our family spring break vacation back to NJ. I also learned some valuable lessons about bringing food on trips and will be able to make even more money next time. If I had been willing to really sacrifice and stay in a youth hostel I could have made double the profit on the trip, but I am not a young man anymore and a youth hostel is not on the agenda.

The plush hotels: I have travelled twice to Europe in the last 6 months and stayed in 3 hotels. They were incredibly plush. The last one I stayed in was so sweet I felt guilty being in it alone.

Broadening my horizons: I like to experience new things and it is nice to be able to say I was here, I was there. I probably would never have travelled to the UK or Switzerland if not for my job, so that is nice too, even though there was no real time for sight seeing.

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Work has gone from breakneck to dangerously close to killing me in terms of intensity. We have launched one new product in the last couple of weeks that I have a LOT of responsibility for and will be launching the biggest new undertaking since the company itself took flight back in 1999. I have major responsibility for getting it ready.

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I hope to get back to a regular posting schedule. I don't like not writing and I am not going to let the blog slip away. I just have to be more disciplined and take time that I spend watching TV to decompress at night to generate content for the blog.

Keep checking back. More to come.

No 1 of Consequence

Sometimes being a parent sucks

While I had planned on doing a lot of reading over the last week or so, I truthfully didn’t get much done at all. I spent a majority of my free time, doing laundry, changing diapers and trying to comfort my sick little baby. I have three children and while they have all been sick at any given time, neither of the other boys has EVER been as sick as the baby was this week. Between the vomiting, diarrhea, trips to the emergency room for IV fluids, and about a million diaper changes I was probably as scared as I have ever been for one of my children. He just didn’t seem to be getting any better at all. Thankfully it the illness seems to be behind him at this point.
I have a newfound respect and appreciation for people who have a chronically or catastrophically ill child. I cannot imagine having to endure that permanently. The powerless feelings of not being able to help or in some cases even comfort the little guy are terribly painful. The thoughts, however brief, that we might lose him aged me ten years. Having to live with that feeling full time would be crippling to me. I can’t imagine how parents survive it.

Some lowlights of the last week:

I had to hold my little guy down while they gave him an IV. Since he is a bit of a chubby baby they had trouble finding a vein. So, they had to stick him three times. One of the times they jiggled the needle around inside him a bit to try and get the vein. He screamed. He screamed a lot. It wasn’t pleasant.

That of course, came in a close second to having to pin him down while they gave him a catheter to get a clean urine sample. Now, I held him for his circumcision, but this was something completely different. I can’t imagine something more unpleasant. He just cried and cried. Thankfully it was brief, but if I never see the inside of an emergency room with one of my children again I will be OK with it.

Overall it was probably one of the worst experiences of my life and I am drained just thinking about. I will tell you this though, coming home last night and seeing him smiling and giggling while splashing in the bathtub was one of the more uplifting experiences I have had in a long time.

4 books I intend to finish before Feb 12

Why on Earth is February 12th the goal? Well, I have accepted a role on the global management team of my company and I am starting some intense training on that date. After that, things are going to be a whirlwind with multiple trips to Scotland on business, countless hours working, and very little time to focus on any leisure reading outside of news and keeping up with my various fantasy baseball teams. So this is the goal I have set for myself.

I have a legitimate shot to finish three out of the four, mainly because I have already started reading three of them. The 4th is over 1000 pages long and apparently the beginning of a rather intricate tale.

So let’s begin the latest installment of what is No 1 Reading:

Watchdogs of Democracy? The Waning Washington Press Corps and How it has Failed the Public. By Helen Thomas

This work is extremely critical of the White House press corps and the press in general, essentially accusing them of being complicit in the abrogation of our constitutional right to know what the hell is going on with our government. She accuses them of being fearful of falling out of favor with a bully of a White House and not asking the tough questions. Helen is a long time Washington correspondent and has been continually snubbed by the President and his handlers during press conferences because of her desire to find the truth for the people.

Why am I reading this? Well, I have been making a similar argument for a long time. No Best Man of Consequence works in the media and I often challenge him and the industry by proxy when I see what I feel are significant injustices taking place in the world. He always comes back at me with the “people don’t care about anything anymore argument,” which I partially agree with and we usually move on to something else. (I have a partial post about our distracted society and how we all suffer for it, but that is a different discussion for a different day.) Anyway, he usually has me outclassed in the argument because I don’t have anything empirical to back me up when we talk about it, so I am trying to broaden my mind in this particular area.

Phil Gordon’s Little Green Book – By Phil Gordon

This is considered by many to be the best poker book ever written. I am only a couple of chapters in and am already enthralled by his simple and concise style. Annoyed and No Brother both recommended this book very highly and since I respect their opinions and their poker abilities I definitely want to finish this book.

Why am I reading this? I want to be a better player. I do well in my home game here in GA and I do well online. I, hopefully, am going to be in Atlantic City in late February and am definitely going to be in AC in early April and I want to be at the top of my game. Digesting the information in this book and integrating it into my personal strategy of play is one good way I can do that.

Now I Can Die In Peace – Bill Simmons

Anyone who reads this blog knows I am a big fan of Bill Simmons. I read anything he writes and I enjoy about 80% of it. The odd thing about my liking this guy is that he is a huge Red Sox fan and this book is a collection of articles and associated commentary leading up to the Red Sox defeat of the Yankees in 2004 and their World Series championship. I have been reading the book for awhile and I am really enjoying it. I am planning a detailed post related to it because it offers such a unique perspective to a Yankees fan. Also, for a Red Sox fan Simmons has a very good understanding of the mentality of Yankees fans even though he calls rooting for the Yankees the same as “rooting for the house in blackjack.”

Why am I reading this? You have to support people who have entertained you that much in your life. Even though the subject matter is not something I am terribly interested in the writing is good and I have been entertained throughout.

Game of Thrones – George R.R. Martin

This book is the first in a significant series. HBO is turning it into a TV series. When they made the announcement, No Accountant of Consequence, who is an expert in this particular genre, was very excited. He highly recommended it so I picked it up.

Why am I reading it? The recommendation is a big reason, plus HBO’s de facto endorsement of the content carries a lot of weight with me. Of all 4 books I have going right now though, I will probably not get this one finished by my deadline.

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Some quick hits not related to what I am reading.

I have about 10 posts in draft and this causes me to be significantly irritated with myself. I really want to write more, but I won’t just throw anything up and a lot of the topics I want to cover require research because as most of you know, talking out of my ass is something I don’t really like to do.

Pitchers and catchers report to spring training imminently. (Feb 14) I am very excited for the coming baseball season.

Work has taken a lot of interesting twists and turns this year. This is my 24th month with the company and if you had asked me in my 4th month if this is the way it was going to go I would have told you that drugs were bad and you should really get your head checked.

Projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea from your almost one year old baby is not really fun. There is just something about a very sick little baby that is especially pathetic. There is also an acute feeling of powerlessness that happens when your child is sick. My little man has the flu right now. He can’t keep anything down and he is just miserable. It just sucks that there is nothing we can really do for him.

Disney World is an incredible amount of fun, but while it may be the most wonderful place on Earth, it isn’t even the 1000th most relaxing place in Florida. I still have blisters on my feet.

Out of the carnage... Life will find a way

This is the story of six fish. The story of six little fishies that had the fortitude, the guile and the will to live. Six fish that bucked the odds, apparently hid under something and survived the Christmas carnage. Just the other day, when the winter weather here in Georgia abated and the temperatures climbed into the 70's I heard a rousing cry from the kitchen. I walked in to see what the ruckus was about and there, in my beloved koi pond were six survivors.

I didn't believe it at first. There had been a rumor that one survived, but I did not have personal visual confirmation. Then, just the other day, the six fish that survived the apocalypse showed themselves and proved once again that life will find a way. Turns out Jeff Goldblum was right.

Credit where it is due

Our internet access at home is completely screwed right now. We have Bellsouth DSL and for whatever reason we cannot access any websites save the Bellsouth home page. This, of course, is a significant problem, because both No Wife and I are wired people. We communicate with friends and family through the internet. We get our news from the internet. I work for an internet company and when I work from home I work on the internet. We are wired and right now we are disconnected. Our issues began yesterday at some point in the early afternoon. After I got home from basketball practice I called Bellsouth customer service and a rep named Jim spent over 2 hours on the phone with me trying different fixes. He was incredibly patient and extremely knowledgable. He was also reasonable and logical. We had a disagreement about the source of our DSL nightmare, but when I took him through the sequence of events that clearly laid the fault at the feet of Bellsouth he did not get belligerent or try to obfuscate. He simply said, "I have exhausted things on my end. Let's set up an appointment for a technician to come out to you." We set a time and hopefully things will be fixed on Thursday morning. It might have been the best customer service experience of my life. So I say bravo Bellsouth. Bravo!!

UPDATE: Apparently, it was a dns error that could have been fixed over the phone. I still give credit to Bellsouth, because the guy who came in fixed it immediately, but damn 2 hours on the phone for something that should have been a 30 second fix. Ouch!!

No 1 of Consequence

Does homeowner's insurance cover this???

When searching for a house in Georgia we had a lot of fexibility. We had a small bi-level in NJ and because we lived in a fairly deisrable neighborhood with good schools, when we sold the house we received a significant premium over what we paid for it.


This allowed us to get a house that would probably be worth close to 800K+ if we had purchased it in NJ and if it was in a more desirable locale than Sussex County where we resided (Mendham, Livingston, etc) it would be worth well over a million dollars. However, since we are living in Georgia we payed a good deal less than we sold our little house in NJ for.

One of the reasons I loved our house in NJ is because there was an actual river running through our backyard and I really enjoyed looking out the kitchen window and seeing the river or spending time on the deck and enjoying the view and the sound of the gently rushing water.

Here in Georgia, everything is broken down by subdivision and since we have children, living on a lake was pretty much out of the question. However, the house we decided on has a koi pond. We found this pretty appealing. The pond is located right outside the kitchen windows and when they are open you can hear the little waterfall that splashes into the pond. Also, when you look out the window you have a great view of the fish swimming around and I found myself routinely looking out at the fish. The first summer we were here there were frogs that had taken up residence in the pond as well and this was amazing.

There were two frogs and they would sleep in the waterfall, apparently enjoying the water rushing over them constantly. On very sunny days they would sun themselves on the rocks that the pond was built out of and routinely dive into the pond for a swim. I remember one day sitting at the kitchen window for over 30 minutes, just enjoying the little frogs playing in the water as the koi swam around them. They didn't return this summer and I really missed them.

Yesterday was Christmas here in Georgia and the weather was miserable. It was cold and dank and fairly depressing. No Dog of Consequence was kept inside as the weather was not conducive to his usual days of lazing around the backyard and sunning himself on our deck. I only bring up No Dog, because if he had been outside yesterday, the tragedy I am about to describe might never have happened.

No Family of Consequence was hanging around the living room as presents were opened and holiday merriment was enjoyed. However, No Baby, butt wiggling. as he crawled made a beeline for the kitchen. He was quickly scooped up by Mommy who let out a loud, "Oh my G-d!" followed by an equally loud, "Holy Crap!" I quickly got up from the couch to see what was happening and as I did I noticed a very large bird flying away. Apparently I missed the carnage.

It was a gigantic heron and it ate all of our koi. All of them. Gone. The waterfall continues to gently splash into the now empty pond and I feel like I was a bystander to a bad Discovery Channel documentary.

Mature koi cost between $30 and $100 apiece. So yesterday's birdy buffet cost me between $500 and $1500 worth of fish. My question remains, can I put in a homeowner's claim?



No 1 of Consequence

Live, from Geneva, it's No1 a go go

Yes, it's me, your favorite blogger away from my beloved country in Geneva, Switzerland. This is my first trip to western Europe. I have travelled in eastern Europe and the Middle East, so I am not culturally deficient, but this has been an experience.

Some quick reasons Switzerland is cool. The people are super friendly. Even though I am right near France I am not feeling any of the French, "we hate America" attitude you hear a lot about.

Every light has a motion sensor attached to it. You walk into a hallway, a light comes on, you walk into another part of the hallway, the first light goes off and others go on. It saves a tremendous amount of electricity. Also, in your hotel room, your hotel key activates the electricity in the room. So when you leave and take your key, everything automatically turns off.

Everything is beautifully clean. The countryside in Switzerland is gorgeous and the alps... Wow. You can see Mont Blanc right from the office where I am working this week and it is truly magnificent. Unless you live in Colorado you can't imagine. Waking up to such beauty every morning is both humbling and empowering.

Pay one price salad buffets. In the US, if you go to a salad bar (Sweet Tomatoes notwithstanding) you pay by the pound. Here you pay by plate. So you can get a nice hearty salad for lunch and not pay through the nose for it. Of course it is the only thing you don't pay through the nose for.

However, not place is perfect and there are some major downsides for an extra large American like myself. Everything is tiny, from the cars to the chairs to the hotel rooms. My ass has been in pain for about 72 hours straight.

Hotel rooms are ridiculously expensive as are most meals. They wanted 50 Euro in the hotel for breakfast. I actually laughed out loud before I walked out of the hotel restaurant. My gracious host paid about 25 dollars for me to eat a small plate of dark meat chicken & mushrooms and a roll last night with a small bottle of sparkling water. A meal like that goes for about 12 bucks in the U.S.

Swiss/French TV sucks. I tried to watch How I Met Your Mother online last night and the CBS site said the programming was not available for viewing outside the US. Same for the NBC and ABC sites. Yuck.

Being out of touch sucks. I am a husband and a dad. Not coming home at the end of the day is something I can seriously do without. Not much as lonely as arriving back in a hotel room at the end of a super long day and not being able to talk to anyone or get pounced upon by the little ones. Double Yuck.

Overall the trip is going very well, but I am really looking forward to coming home.

No 1 of Consequence