OK, I have returned. I apologize for the layoff. Those of you who know me know why, those of you who don’t know me, suffice it to say, life is beautiful.
A lot has happened in the last two weeks but the first thing I want to tell you is this, it doesn’t freaking matter that Dick Cheney shot someone. This is what our press chooses to get excited about? I mean we have no bid contracts for billions of dollar being gifted to his cronies at Halliburton and everyone shrugs their shoulders. We have an administration spying on its citizenry and the press says, oh well, instead of screaming for a special prosecutor. But oh beware, the VP is on a hunting trip accidentally shoots his buddy and reports it to the local press. This ladies and gentleman is a hanging offense. Forget the fact that this administration shits on democracy and due process, forget the fact that there is significant evidence of election tampering in Florida and Ohio, forget all of those things, but don’t forget about the hunting accident. No siree bob! The hunting accident is really REALLY important. Members of the national press are the biggest bunch of complicit bitches out there. They are failing the American people far worse than the government is right now. They have the power to bring public pressure to bear and choose not to. They are guilty by inaction.
On to much less important things. I watched the NBA slam dunk contest for the first time in about 10 years. Who cares? Usually not me, but this year No Dad of Consequence was visiting me in the ATL for the first time and we were shooting the shit and having some laughs. We popped on the dunk contest to see if there was anything worth caring about. I used to be a HUGE NBA fan, but the game seems to have passed me by. After watching little Nate Robinson dunk by leaping completely over Spud Webb and watching Andre Iguodala dunk after taking an off the backside of the backboard alley oop pass from Allan Iverson I may have an inkling of interest in the NBA again. They were two of the coolest dunks I have ever witnessed.
The Jets are on the verge of cutting Chad Pennington. Thank goodness. The Jets suck. They are going to suck, they may always suck and I love them anyway. Pennington is a guy who captured the imagination of Jets fans because he was smart, a little brash and seemed to be very accurate in his passing. The other players seemed to love him and this made us hope, for a moment that we found our guy, our QB, the one that would lead us to the promised land. Then, of course, because they are the Jets, we found out his shoulder was made of angel hair pasta and was held together by congealed Alfredo sauce. Neither of these things are conducive to long term health. Chad, we loved you, but you were the same as all the rest, not there when we really needed you.
I am a huge Olympics fan. No Wife of Consequence makes fun of me for being the only man in America that remotely gives a crap about the winter Olympics. She is correct, the winter games are not nearly as compelling as the summer, of course it might be because we really aren’t that good at winter sports that I am not nearly as intrigued. Also, I think since everyone is so cold and covered up all the time the whole thing is kind of off putting. How can you root for people when you can’t see their faces? NBC tries to make up for this of course by giving you every athlete’s back story, but come on.
Pitchers and Catchers baby! Baseball will soon be here to whisk us into the summer.
No 1 of Consequence