One blade, two blades, a red blade a blue blade

And now, something completely pointless

I hate shaving. I really hate it. It is one of the truly sucky things about being a guy. I don't want to hear a bunch of whining about how women have to go through incredible bouts of torture with tweezers and wax and the like to look pretty for us evil men, I concede the point. I am just saying, shaving sucks.

For years I suffered the indignity of dragging a blade across my face or suffering massive razor burn from a variety of different electric shaving products. At one point, my face would routinely be so irritated from shaving I would run ice over it to reduce the pain and swelling.

Also, the tools for shaving they had out there were terrible. I am very fair skinned, so I don't have to shave incredibly often, but when I do, I want the blade to work. I found the dual blade razors that were all the rage when I began shaving sucked, because the hair from my beard would get caught between the blades and if you didn't have a power washer in your bathroom it very difficult to clear the blades for the next pass of the razor. This annoyed me beyond belief. Then Gillette came out with the Mach3. I was still sore as anything when I was done shaving, but at least the blades were spaced out nicely so I could rinse the razor in between passes without having to get the damned garden hose.

Of course, after the Mach3 they came out with a 4 blade razor and then a 5 and now they even have a six with 5 on the front and one on the back for "trimming." These inferior products to the Mach3 have the same problem as the 2 blade razor, the blades are too close together and rinsing them take water pressure similar to that generated by the Grand Coulee Dam.

I have found a solution to the whole irritated face situation as well. I shave in the shower. All the steam and hot water opens up the pores on my face VERY nicely and when I am done shaving my face is soft and smooth.

What grooming rituals do you hate?

No 1 of Consequence

Southern fried physician, stop cooking your customer base

One interesting phenomenon I have noticed about my new state is that there is a significant lack of urgency from people, who quite frankly, need to get their collective acts together. I am talking about the rarified medical profession. As someone who visits doctors on a fairly regular basis I am acutely tuned in to the office experience and how badly it seems to suck here in the heartland. I categorize this as a wholly southern problem because I rarely experienced this sort of crap in the great state of New Jersey, whereas the simplest appointment here in GA can take two hours or more.

Recently I arrived at my doctor's office for a 9:30 AM appointment that should have taken about 15-30 minutes to complete. I fully expected to be out of his office by 10 and in mine by 10:30. I reached my office just in time for lunch.

After having suffered through this same scenario at a number of different doctor's offices here in Dixie I have decided to open my own medical practice. True, I never went to medical school, but I figure I can hire doctors to work for me. All I would need to do is make sure there was adequate staffing and that things ran on time. This seems so simple it is almost laughable, but the inefficiencies I routinely witness here absolutely kill the customer experience.

What happens if you have a bad experience with your doctor? Invariably you will change doctors and a practice that could grow and flourish with great customer service stagnates and dwindles because people don't like to be kept waiting and/or treated like they don't matter.

My current GP is a super nice guy. I really like him as a person, but his staff and the inefficiency of his office are causing me and No Wife to really evaluate if we want to be his patients any more. When expressing this to some of our neighbors, we were informed that many of them had similarly poor customer experiences and had since moved on from this particular physician despite his personally likable nature.

Understanding the customer experience and making it something special is the only way to grow a business, any business. Not paying attention to it and making it hard for people to do business with you is the dumbest thing any business can do.

Any docs in the area of Atlanta that would like me to consult on their customer experience and show you ways to improve it and grow your practices should contact me at no1ofconsequence@gmail.com

No 1 of Consequence

MySpace, your space, your stuff please.

I love this story about two teenaged girls who set up some older guy to get robbed. It is a pleasant turnaround to all the teenagers who have been killed. MySpace is a social networking phenomenon and turned out to be a huge cash cow for the person who invented and now Rupert Murdoch and his band of reknown, but you can't argue with the severe drawbacks to a site like this. Check this site out to see what some of those drawbacks are. It chronicles the "Dead Kids of MySpace."

If you have kids, pay attention to what they are up to, please.

No 1 of Consequence

The king of TV is dead.

Aaron Spelling has passed away. Read this article if you are interested in a synopsis of his many accomplishments and successes, building a television empire and becoming one of the richest men in America from scratch through hard work and creativity. The man contributed to society entertaining literally billions of people around the globe.

When I was in college Beverly Hills 90210 and later Melrose Place became event television. The campus was a ghost town for two hours every Wednesday night and 15,000+ televisions were tuned in to these shows in a 10 square block area in Philadelphia.

He produced over 200+ movies and shows for various networks & studios employing thousands of people and creating billions in revenue.

May he rest in peace.

No 1 of Consequence

Begrudging credit where it currently appears to be due.

Anyone who reads this space knows I am no fan of the current President of the United States and could never, under any circumstances, be considered a republican. However as an American I have an understanding of the organizing priciples of this country, one of which is land ownership. To that end, the latest trend of abuse of "eminent domain" has been especially apalling to me. The condemnation of land for uses other than the public good (public transportation, power generation, parks etc) is a sick abuse of power by corporate demagogues who have no interest in helping the public and significant interest in exploiting the public.

Today, President Bush issued an executive order that would effectively prohibiting the use of eminent domain for uses other than those described above. It is strongly worded and unabiguous as I understand it. As I describe myself as an open minded individual I must give credit to this administration for taking steps to protect the public.

Well done.

(I reserve the right to shift position on this if I find out it was total crap and there are secret loopholes that continue to let the American people get screwed)

***UPDATE*** Once again it is important to have readers who are smarter than you are. What No Best Man of Consequence pointed out in his comment is that this executive order does nothing to stop the proliferation of state and local governments stealing land from the general population. I hereby exercise my reserved right to shift my position and say this executive order, as well as this post, were nothing but a complete waste of time and energy. Apologies.

No 1 of Consequence

Sense of urgency... or not.

In the first incarnation of this space I used to bitch about my job all the time. As a matter of fact it was the dominating theme of the blog. I worked for a company with a great concept but was a massive failure in terms of execution. After they unceremoniously canned me and tried to cheat me out of money they owed me, I found my way here, to Georgia.

The company I work for now has perfected the concept the the other company botched. I LOVE my job and I am very good at it. I work ALL the time. My company is on the cusp of breaking into the big time in our industry and I find it very rewarding. The problem I have is that I don't see the same sense of urgency from some of the other people that work here.

One of these people seems to have his own agenda. He is already two months late on something that is critical to our growth and it looks like he is going to miss the latest deadline. He has brilliant tools. He is creative, he is technically adept, he is charismatic, but at the end of the day there is no sense of urgency. He doesn't seem to care about the big picture. I am growing increasingly frustrated with him. Why am I giving maximum effort when others are not? It is a little demoralizing.

In my opinion, if you are one of the senior members of a company, and you have your own agenda, you should not be with that company anymore. For a low level grunt, I think it is different, you have the right to look out for yourself, because your future may or may not be tied to that of the company. However, as a member of the executive staff, who holds equity in the company, to not show a significant sense of urgency in your work, is absolutely disturbing.

No 1 of Consequence

The finance industry is a bunch of hooey

Some people a lot smarter than me did a study that told them that when a country's soccer team loses an important match it has a negative effect on their markets. What does this tell you?

The financial markets are completely artificial. They artificially rise and artificially fall based on a herd mentality that serves no one.

Manchester United lost, so there goes 11.5 billion dollars in wealth, vanished from the world.

Consumer confidence rules everything. When we believe that things are going well, they are. When we believe they are going poorly it becomes self fulfilling. Does this make any sense to you? It doesn't to me. You end up asking the question is anything at all real?

No 1 of Consequence

The Ivory Coast, disappointing me.

If you have been watching the FIFA World Cup with any interest at all you would know that the Ivory Coast fell to the Dutch today 2-1 despite outshooting them significantly.

Why do I care?

I don't really, but I did pick them in my World Cup pool. I decided that they would be highly motivated to succeed and keep playing past the first round because if they didn't they would have to go back to ethnically cleansing each other off the streets of Yamoussoukro. Not a bad strategy, just didn't work out and now I am a casual observer instead of having a vested interest.

Some observations about the world cup:

First, soccer is not nearly as boring to watch on TV as you might think. It is actually a very strategic game, probing areas of the defense and fighting for position without violating the rules. As long as the camera shots are wide enough you can really see things develop.

Second, and this is the strangest thing about it this time around. The World Cup pool in my office actually got more interest than the NCAA which is very strange seeing as we are in SEC country and my office is filled with young SEC alumni. Does this mean we will se a resurgence of the MLS in the US? I doubt, more likely a sociological anomaly, but those can be fun too.

Third, I don't really have anything else. The first two were the important points.

It has been a tiring week. I am looking forward to resting this weekend.

No 1 of Consequence

Don't forget it is Flag Day!!

Some flag related links:

History of the American Flag

The Betsy Ross Homepage

A dedicated flag site

All the above sites have histories of the flag and flag etiquette in case you aren't sure how to properly display your flag.


No 1 of Consequence

Dumb Democrats, failing their base (meaning me), yet again

Look at this nonsense. Joan M. Quigley and Linda Stender, two democrats, assemblywomen from NJ have called for retailers in NJ to boycott Ann Coulter's book. Defacto calling for corporate censorship of someone because they didn't like what she said. I realize that they are trying to generate publicity for themselves by piggybacking on Ann Coulter's publicity, but come on. Can they find a smarter way to do it? Can they rise above the muck and take the high road, please? Saying the book should be banned just drags the debate to Ann Coulter's level and she succeeds because of democratic failure to think strategically. Saying it should be banned gives that hate monger credence because now all that skeleton with bad extensions has to say is, "See, look at the left, they are afraid of my words, my truth (insert propaganda here)." Those two idiots from my home state probably did more for her book sales than they did to hurt them. Once again piss poor democratic strategy hamstringing the entire cause.

As the great Aaron Sorkin wrote in The American President "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating, at the top of his lungs, that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours."

I believe in free speech for everyone, not just people that agree with me.

For anyone in our government, Democrat or Republican, to stand up and say that people shouldn't be allowed to say what they want offends me at a core level. Healthy debate on issues is good. Disagree with someone's policy ideas and disgaree with their beliefs, combat them with facts. Saying they shouldn't be allowed to give their opinions is facism and calling for them to be censored by the government or by corporations is just wrong and not what this country is supposed to be about.

Ann Coulter is just an opportunist looking to profit off something republicans care about. She doesn't care about what they care about. She cares about money and fame and will do anything to get either. She is a media whore. Republicans should be ashamed to have her in their corner. Her sort of infantile, "look at me," tantrum style anti-journalism is an embarassment to humanity and drains credibility from their cause. The best way to combat her is to ignore her. You ignore her and all the tantrums become background noise as she fades into the background as a has been know nothing who used to be famous.

Can someone in the democratic party read Macchiavelli or The Art of War before it is too late and Jeb Bush gets elected President of the United States?

No 1 of Consequence

Response to a comment

If you take a look at the BioMacabre post you can see that we had a response. someone joined our little community:

I agree that the desecration of these people is horrible - I'm on the other side. I have some of the tissue/bone in my body from one of Mastromarino's 'patients'. I was told by my dentist that it was traced back to this NY doctor, and now I'm stuck with who-knows-what in my system for the rest of my life. There are many victims on both sides of this tragedy.

First of all I say welcome. Thank you for posting your comment. Secondly, I am so sorry you have to suffer through this terrible ordeal. If you feel for a moment that I didn't sufficiently address your side of the issue as well I deeply regret it. Feel free to compose a guest blog which I will happily post on your behalf.

I am not an attorney and this should not be constituted as legal advice, but I would advise you to consult a lawyer ASAP. You probably have a civil action against Mastromarino (who will end up judgement proof and most likely behind bars) the funeral directors who allowed his company to perform these heinous acts and most importantly the state that gave a business license to a felon. There has been a lot of action on my blog today. A lot of it has come from the IP address of:


*Author's note, I was mistaken, the law firm formerly listed in this post was not a personal injury firm, but a referral to one has been posted in the comment section.

They are a personal injury firm and I am sure they are chomping at the bit to find out who you are, mysterious commenter, so they can represent you and others in what I am sure will be a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the State of New Jersey, or whoever the certifying body was that put this alleged bastard into business. Call them. Let us know how it turns out.

My flippant remarks aside. I have the deepest sympathy and compassion for someone who has to walk around with this type of uncertainty. You have been wronged on a level that is unfathomable and I wish you nothing but the best. Please feel free to comment here anytime and as I mentioned earlier, consider this an open forum to your guest writings on this terrible occurence. Just be aware that you will occasionally be forced to share the space with knucklehead posts about poker and Screech. :-) Hang in there.

No 1 of Consequence

Screech, homeless in Wisconsin

And now, for something terminally unimportant:

Remember this smiling face from your adolescent Saturday mornings? Well if you don't, this is Screech aka Dustin Diamond, from the series Saved By the Bell and all of it's further incarnations (The College Years, The New Class) While his classmates went on to fame and fortune as strippers, strumpets, mid level celebrities and Mario Lopez, Screech toiled as a chess champion and mildly successful stand up comic. After suffering the fate of many child stars (his parents ripping him off and ruining his credit before his 18th birthday) he managed to enter into a bad land deal in Wisconsin and buy himself a house. Screech, who is credited for having the longest running unrequited interracial affair (with actress Lark Vorhies) on Saturday morning television had achieved the dream of all Americans, a lifetime of debt. Now, it appears, our beloved Screech is in need. His bad land deal has gotten worse and there is a chance he could be foreclosed upon by the unscrupulous and evil. So I say to you, my loyal few, help Screech, help him restore himself to good standing in the community and save his homestead. Buy a tshirt from him and you too can help Save Screech's House!!

You can thank the Howard Stern Show for this post. If you haven't purchased Sirius Satellite Radio let me tell you that you are missing one of the most entertaining shows ever to be broadcast anywhere. Doing 5 hours a day 5 days a week will produce some schlock as well, but for the most part Howard has never been wittier or more free to be his creative self. I laugh driving to work every day and because they replay the show all day long so you can catch parts you missed, I laugh driving home from work every day. Sirius and Howard have the No Entertainment of Consequence seal of approval. Worth the .43 cents a day, without question.

No 1 of Consequence

Do you watch poker on TV?

After my morbid post earlier I decided to lighten things up a bit.

I watch poker on TV and I like to play, both live and on the internet. Tonight on GSN, formerly the Game Show Network I watched a different kind of poker. They launched their second season of High Stakes Poker. High Stakes is a different kind of poker TV show because all the players are professionals and they have to buy in with at least $100,000 of their own money. Also, it is a live game, not a tournament, which totally changes the mentality at the table. It also lends itself to kind of crazy stuff. When players are all in they will sometimes cut wacky side deals, like running the river card twice to give a player with virtually no chance of winning the hand double the chance to draw out and earn a split pot. Also, a lot of the niceties you find on the tournament poker shows is gone from this game. All the players know each other and some of their personal issues bleed right over onto the table. It is compelling and at times there is serious money on the table. Pots routinely contain $50,000 and many times there is as much cash in the pot as there are chips. As someone who plays for .10 cents at a time it is amazing to watch these guys bluff $10 or $20 grand into a pot and shrug if they lose.

9:00 PM Mondays on GSN. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it. Try it once, you might like it. Besides, it is the summer, what else are you going to watch on Mondays at 9:00?

No 1 of Consequence

BioMacabre - Would you like a lymph node with that?

This story is so deeply disturbing that I almost don't know where to begin. In brief, a company in Fort Lee, NJ has been harvesting human tissue from people who did not choose to donate without the knowledge of their families or doctors. They harvested tissue from people who were not suitable donors and that tissue may have been implanted in patients in need.

Some of the deceased may have had acute infections at the time of death, meaning whatever killed them would still be present in the harvested tissue and could infect the recipient.

Every medical research or biomedical company like this should be federally required to have an ethical compliance officer. Someone who is bonded and certified by the FDA and who has the authority to shut down any program or activity he/she were to deem ethically questionable. This sort of heinous violation of the dead and the aggrieved is so morally repugnant that it enrages me beyond reason. You have the right not to be carved up after your death if that is your choice.

Whether you believe in an afterlife or not, believe in Gd or not, you should be able to go to your final resting ground without some ethically bankrupt death profiteer hacking off bits of you that may or may not result in the untimely demise of other people. Not only were these poor folks butchered like cattle but then may have been used in any number of negligent homicides. If these charges prove to be correct I hope everyone involved in this from the top down get locked away forever.

My deepest most heartfelt condolences go out to the families of these people who will once more have to relive the deaths of their loved ones and now be saddled with the knowledge that their loved ones were violated after their deaths.

No 1 of Consequence

Cruise: Wacky? Yes. Legitimate action hero? Also, yes.

Mission Impossible III :

I just got back from the movies. Guess what I saw? I know Tom Cruise is a bit of a lunatic and has a tendency to make a spectacle of himself when not on the movie screen, but I have to tell you, this movie is incredibly enjoyable. For the third movie in the series I was sufficiently impressed. The action sequences were excellently choreographed and there was just enough story to keep the whole premise plausible. Since J.J. Abrams wrote it (also the writer of Lost and Alias) there were sufficient turns and some mystery. Definitely a fine way to spend a 95 degree afternoon.

No 1 of Consequence

JFK teaches us, every day.

If this nation is to be wise as well as strong, if we are to achieve our destiny, then we need more new ideas for more wise men reading more good books in more public libraries. These libraries should be open to all-except the censor. We must know all the facts and hear all the alternatives and listen to all the criticisms. Let us welcome controversial books and controversial authors. For the Bill of Rights is the guardian of our security as well as our liberty.

- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

I just watched a compelling documentary called Unconstitutional: The War on our Civil Liberties.

I highly recommend it, whatever your political viewpoint.

No 1 of Consequence

Ann Coulter was spawned from hell

I believe in free speech for everyone. What I mean by that is I don't think only people that believe what I believe should be allowed to say whatever they want. My belief in freedom for everyone means that sometimes I have to stomach some pretty heinous rantings. Normally, I don't say anything about it. I spent ages 3-12 in a town (Bloomfield, NJ) that was so hate filled and vicious pretty much anything I see or hear rolls off my back with little more than a shrug. However, after reading what this shrill opportunist said a couple of days ago I had a physical reaction. I was enraged. I don't get angry all that easily anymore. I seem to be more temperate with my advancing age. Also, when I do get angry, it passes almost immediately. This skeleton with a wig's maniacal rantings have just stayed with me. She makes me want to vomit.

If you don't have time or the inclination to click the link and read the story. Ann Coulter a.k.a. The Incubus viciously and with calculated malice attacked a group of 9/11 widows who have become known in the media as the Jersey Girls.

While it is true I am a Jersey boy and have an affinity for my former home, this has absolutely nothing to do with my defense of these women or my vitriol towards this soulless psuedo-pundit.

The Jersey Girls have been outspoken opponenets to the war in Iraq, anti-President Bush and tireless crusaders to find out any bit of information they can about what actually transpired on 9/11. I don't know if there is anything to find out really, but if these women need to do that to help them through the tragedy they have suffered who am I to judge.

How devoid of human compassion are you when the only way you can get press for yourself is to suggest these women were happy about their husbands violent deaths and are basically dancing in the streets about what happened? How devoid of talent are you?

Ann Coulter has intentionally attacked these women to create controversy for herself and sell books. The worst part about it is that, of course, it worked. Her book is atop the Amazon list right now. All that means is that next time she spews something onto paper we will be treated to her ranting like a facist, attacking someone who doesn't deserve it, drumming up controversy for herself.

Here are some Ann Coulter quotes from the past in case you need more proof that she is basically evil. These are copied directly from NNDB.com without permission:

"If you don't hate Bill Clinton and the people who labored to keep him in office, you don't love your country."

"Liberals love America like O.J. loved Nicole."

"In this recurring nightmare of a presidency [the Clinton administration], we have a national debate about whether he 'did it,' even though all sentient people know he did. Otherwise there would be debates only about whether to impeach or assassinate."

"I think we ought to nuke North Korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning. ... They’re a major threat. I just think it would be fun to nuke them and have it be a warning to the rest of the world."

"I think [calling Clinton a scumbag] is factually correct. ... I don't think you could win a slander suit on that. Truth is a defense."

"When contemplating college liberals, you really regret once again that John Walker is not getting the death penalty. We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed, too. Otherwise, they will turn out to be outright traitors."

"There are no good Democrats."

"I take the Biblical idea. God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees God says, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.'"

"I think, on the basis of the recent Supreme Court ruling that we can't execute the retarded, American journalists commit mass murder without facing the ultimate penalty. I think they are retarded."

"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building."

"Whether they are defending the Soviet Union or bleating for Saddam Hussein, liberals are always against America. They are either traitors or idiots, and on the matter of America's self-preservation, the difference is irrelevant."

"Even if corners were cut, [Iran-Contra] was a brilliant scheme. There is no possibility that anyone in any Democratic administration would have gone to such lengths to fund anti-Communist forces. When Democrats scheme from the White House, it's to cover up the President's affair with an intern. When Republicans scheme, it's to support embattled anti-Communist freedom fighters sold out by the Democrats."

"[Canadians] better hope the United States doesn't roll over one night and crush them. They are lucky we allow them to exist on the same continent."

"A central component of liberal hate speech is to make paranoid accusations based on their own neurotic impulses, such as calling Republicans angry, hate-filled, and mean."

"[Liberals] are always accusing us of repressing their speech. I say let's do it. Let's repress them. ... Frankly, I'm not a big fan of the First Amendment."

"I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East, and sending liberals to Guantanamo."

Isn't she a doll folks? Let's give her a big round of applause.

No 1 of Consequence

****AUTHOR'S NOTE**** Further proof of Ann Coulter's evil powers. It took me a day and a half and three attempts to get this posted.

Shattering the unintentional comedy meter